Buhtt sex?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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