Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
