You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize