apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
