i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
