Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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