The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
