you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
