If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
