Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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