Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He better not be in your backpack
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize