I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she peed on how many people?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
