3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Green mimosas i think yes
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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