Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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