It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
