Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think my moral compass just broke
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
