cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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