with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
