when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
