i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
