hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
