Kiss
Puke
and you said cock pushups were impossible
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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