he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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