When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
