is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize