I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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