Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize