What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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