My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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