i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
