it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
