If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
