Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
