i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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