Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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