So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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