even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
