There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
