come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
