I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
