my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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