My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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