do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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