I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
