Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
