At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
