yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
