Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize