I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
