I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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