its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We need to get me chipped asap
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize