i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
