Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
