is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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