also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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