I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
