There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
