Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
