I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
