Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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