i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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