Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love you. Go after that dick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
