so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
