what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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